Our horses, Our teachers

Sorry folks, I have been quite "MIA" lately. It's been both a mix of activity, and a lot of nothing at the same time. I feel like I am on the cusp of being insanely busy, so trying to appreciate these last few moments of rest and quiet.

I have made the decision to go ahead and make a go at London. It sort of sounds like I came to this decision lightly, but it has taken me a long time to decide that my heart was still in fact "in the game". In addition, I have had the very unexpected opportunity to partner with a horse who has really made the decision simple. He is just a joy to ride, and it has brought back all the reasons why I love this sport in every minute in the saddle, and every moment spent with him.

I hope to share more publicly the who's, what's, and how's, of this new horse soon. :-)

But for now, I want to share a revelation I made - one that we have all made, and one that could not have come at a better time for me.

I took a pretty long break from riding, and getting back into the swing of things has been an interesting process. Every bad habit, weakness, and "shortcut" in my riding is painfully obvious - I often feel as thought I have been distilled down to the worst of my riding!

In being back in the saddle, I am also able to realize what amazing, kind, patient teachers our horses are for us. My current horse is well-trained, and if I am correct and fair, our rides our successful. If I am sloppy in my riding, my posture hunched, or my hands not keeping the contact "alive"...things quietly fall apart. No drama, but a sincere statement of "you are not doing this correctly". When I truly get it together, it suddenly becomes magic - that amazing feeling of a horse moving over their back forward into the contact - it suddenly seems like anything is possible!! There is no greater Pavlovian reward as a rider.

I now think back on all my horse-teachers who were so patient with me when I didn't know what it felt like when it was "Right"...who gave me those glorious moments just for the sake of letting me know what it felt like. What a generous spirit these animals have to show us the path!

I am amazed, humbled, and intensely grateful for the education I have received!

I am also very excited about the road ahead :-)

Holding Pattern

Sometimes after a period of extremely intense activity...we find it very difficult to slow down. I have been very carefully trying to slow down my pace since WEG, but far too often find myself revving my engine (spinning my wheels?!).

School is done, done done. I can hardly believe it. In some ways, it was a 3 and a half year journey, but I also think of it as the completion of a journey I started in 2001 when I originally started graduate school at UCLA...so really a ten year journey!!

Part of me feels like I should take time to stop and reflect about the journey I have been on in the past years. However, there is this little inner-cheerleader reminding me that there are so many exciting paths ahead...why slow down now to sniff the flowers, when there might be bigger, smellier flowers up ahead?!

I am admittedly anxious to get my business started, and find a new routine. I think the hardest part about this time "in between" adventures is not having daily obligations!!

I very much look forward to finding my path to the London Paralympics. But...rather than running down the trail, I instead hope to take my time. Allow the process to happen organically. Nurture the relationships, enjoy each moment. I will push when I need to push, but take deep breaths and make sure each decision is coming from the heart.

Spring, and Change, is in the air

Hello Friends,

This week finds me scrambling to finish my last term paper, send off my licensing application, and scouting locations for my humble business.

It also finds Dylan in his new digs...just a ways down the road, with a fantastic junior. She is hoping to try for NAJYRC, and needed a horse to compete on...and well, she and Dylan are a great pair. I could not have asked for a better "next chapter" for my partner in crime. He practically trotted into the trailer, gave me one little look, then I swear if he could've he would have pulled the door closed himself to get on the road to his next great adventure!

So...I find myself "horseless". I have had the chance to think about how I want to proceed in my Para career. I of course want to continue training and competing for London. I also feel like I need to become more strongly involved in the role of athlete development.

There are so many talented riders and athletes, and the only way for the US to become a true world force, is to get those riders developed. Since funding is always going to be an issue, I strongly feel that our High Performance athletes should step up to the plate and help mentor these riders. It's not an easy task, particularly as we are all consumed with our own efforts.

So...I will continue on my horse-hunt, continue looking for sponsors and supporters, venture forward with my new acupuncture business, as well as look for ways to build and foster our para community here in the Pacific Northwest!

Dream big, my friends!

Holy Cow...is it February already??

I can't believe how quickly and easily time slips away! There are the tiny signs of spring around me...the crocus are blooming, the robins have started singing in the morning. Today, the sun is shining beautifully, although the air is still cold.

I have taken a break from riding to focus on wrapping up my studies at Bastyr. I am very excited about finally finishing my Master's, and more than that, I am excited to embark on my new career. I love what I do, and I am excited to share acupuncture and chinese medicine with my community.

Dylan is still looking for his next home. I have spent a lot of time on the phone, answering emails, scheduling times for people to come up and look at him...but haven't found the perfect fit yet. I spent a lot of time thinking about it last week, and realized that what I would really love is to see Dylan take another rider to "the big show" like he did with me. I am therefore looking for a JR who needs a solid horse to campaign for NAJYRC. There are a lot of kids out there who have the skills, but maybe don't have the horse. I am hoping in a small way, if I can help Dylan find the right home in this way, I would be "paying it forward" for all help I have had in getting my career started. If you know someone who might fit the bill, let me know.

In the meantime, I am starting to map out the pieces of "what comes next" for my own riding plans. I am hoping to go to the Dressage Affaire to watch my teammates compete, and if I am able to secure a borrowed horse, ride in the Para clinic with Debbie McDonald.

I am also looking at options for a new horse. There are a few options out there - a lease, and/or forming a syndicate of a group of donors who would like to invest in ownership of a horse.

I will hopefully be leasing a horse in the interim to get back into the swing of things. I am also looking at options for competing at US Para National Championships, as well as getting to another Para international - there are several in Europe throughout the year.

The "map" is always a little daunting from a financial perspective, particularly in these tough times. I have faith in the process, and the amazing world around me, though, and I have no doubt it will all come together.

As usual, if you have funding ideas, or would like to be a part of the Team, drop me a line!

Until next time, "it's not about the destination, but the journey"!

The only constant....is change.

Hello Friends and Supporters,

It seems silly, but it is true. The only constant in my life at this point, is in fact change. You'd think you'd get used to the roller coaster, but just as quickly as I'm up, I'm back down, and around, and through loop-de-loops!

I suppose the biggest news at this moment is that Dylan is for sale. I think this probably comes as a surprise to many, but it has been "in the works" for awhile due to my financial situation. I haven't spoken much about it, because it is solely a personal burden, and because I had the incredible goal of getting to, and competing at WEG taking precedence!

When I bought Dylan, I had originally hoped he would be the extremely rare horse that could be both a competition partner, and a partner at a therapeutic riding program. It was my way of attempting to give back to the program (Little Bit) that had given me so much. Dylan just did not turn out to be that horse, though! He did turn out to be an incredibly talented, fun teacher, so I dug deep to make ends meet for the past two and a half years.

I am actually very excited to see what adventures Dylan will have in the years ahead with his new person, as strange as that may sound.

As far as my competitive future, it is my sincere goal to continue training and riding in preparation for London in 2012. The greatest challenge ahead will be forging and developing the relationships that will eventually result in the funding and finding a horse to lease. These things just take time. I feel confident in some ways in knowing there are a lot of wonderful horses and amazing horse owners out in the world, and a lot of great para athletes...we all just need to find one another!

I would like to thank my incredible sponsors, Antares, FarmVet, Little Bit, Kerrits, and Olsons, for their continuing support.

I would like to again thank everyone at Trilogy, and all those who came out to my WEG fundraiser - I am still humbled by the generosity of our PacNW dressage community!

A special thanks to Roxanne Christenson for...well, everything. :-)

And lastly, I'd like to acknowledge Jenny Nell, who has given time, money, blood, sweat, tears, AND a truck, to see me transform from a somewhat terrified disabled person sitting on a horse who couldn't get a classification, to an equestrian athlete.

It ain't the end folks...IT'S JUST THE BEGINNING!!!

WEG wrap-up!

Well, it’s been about a month, and I figured it was about time to put some words on paper (virtual paper at least) about my experience at WEG.

It was an amazing, humbling, exhausting, incredible, eye-opening, once-in-a-lifetime experience. During the day-to-day, I really did not have the time or ability to process the enormity of what was happening around me, as I was pretty focused on the job I was there to do. There were certainly a few moments where it all sunk in, though!!

In terms of the riding piece, I am generally pleased. As a competitor, it seems I sometimes get caught up in the mistakes and places I could have done better. Honestly, I do think that Dylan and I put in really solid tests for where we both are in our skill development. We obviously have not competed at this level before, and I am learning about riding and asking for collection at the same time that Dylan is learning how to do it!

Dylan’s trot-work was the best it’s ever been. The trade-off for pushing the envelope a bit and getting that great trot-work, however, was tension in the walk and a few problems with the contact in the canter. It simply a factor of his comfort level in the training, and my skill as a rider – if I had a few more years under my belt I could have perhaps given him the confidence he needed. It’s always a risk to ask your horse for just a little more in a show situation, but at the same time, progress is made through risk. Perhaps I would have scored exactly the same if I had gone and ridden a conservative, “safe” test, but I certainly would have been left wondering “what if”.

Mostly, I am very proud of Dylan. Our horses are such amazing creatures for putting up with every ridiculous thing we throw at them. Dylan traveled well, settled into all his different housing situations well, and just rolled with all the punches. Particularly at the horse park, I was impressed with his ability to look around at the dozens of golf carts, jumbotrons, four-in-hand carts, banners, flags, tents, and the non-stop chaos, and I swear he sighed, rolled his eyes, as if to say “oh silly humans!”. I think Dylan’s highlight of the show was grazing on the cross country course. (He seemed enamored with the cross country course in general…he was definitely staring dreamily every time we passed it…was it all that green grass, or is he fantasizing about a career change?!)

In terms of my highlights…

Participating in opening ceremonies, with the reining team hijacking our golf cart (made me feel way less silly about needing to ride in the cart AND about wearing the cowboy hat),

Meeting the best athletes from around the world, as well as having random encounters with US Team members in the hotel restaurant. I definitely had stars in my eyes, but occasionally would remember I was wearing the same outfit as they were!!

Watching the dressage freestyles, and getting to see Totilas and Edward Gal in person. There is just no tension in that horse whatsoever, it’s remarkable. I must admit, in terms of personal preference, I LOVED Fuego’s freestyle. I have re-watched it on youtube at least 10 times.

Watching my teammates tests. We have an amazing group of riders, and I was so honored to be a part of this group. I am so excited about the future of US Para. In the same vein, it was also incredible to watch the world champion para riders – to see how effortless, how beautiful their rides are. It certainly gave me vision of where I need to be, and I imagine that is true for all the US riders.

Early mornings at KER. Kentucky Equine Research hosted us for our training camp prior to the games. Jenny and I would typically head over to the facility pretty early in the morning, just as the sun was coming up. I will never forget the mist on the pastures, the moon waxing as the sun came up, and pulling into the driveway to see Dylan.

So what’s next?

I earned my initial qualification for 2012 Paralympics by earning a 60% at WEG (only one aspect of qualifying and eventually being selected). However, after seeing the quality of horses and riders competing at this level, I know I have a lot of work to do.

I am also graduating from school in 5 months, and will have to either start my own practice or find a practice to join once I am licensed as an acupuncturist.

I have a lot to think about, and a lot to keep me busy in the next few weeks. I will do my best to keep everyone posted!!

One under the belt!

Hi All,

Today was QUITE busy! The jog was scheduled for 8:30am, but as host nation, we would jog last. The arenas were open for riding prior to the jog, so we planned to ride beforehand to get Dylan loosened up and in a good working frame of mind. That meant we had a pretty early morning indeed. I had a good ride, just worked him over his back and evenly into both reins, and really tried to settle his tempo.

It has been quite chilly here the past two days, and the jog strip is located above the cross country course...so, in a big, open, exposed field. Needless to say, it got cold. I did my best to stay warm, today I used moxa hot packs to try and stave off the muscle spasms.

All the US horses passed the jog, and everyone certainly felt a lot better after it was over.

We had a chance to take a lunch at the athletes cafeteria, where they are serving really good hot food. I have missed a few meals on this trip, so I feel a bit like I am "catching up". The cute ariat jeans I had to stuff myself into for opening ceremonies now don't stay up...so I know I can probably indulge in a few extra snacks!

After lunch, I got myself into my whites for the warm up test. This was a chance for the riders competing as individuals to show their team test in front of 3 judges, but the scores don't really count for anything. The purpose is really to allow the individuals the same amount of time in the competition ring as the team riders.

Dylan was a little behind my leg in the warm up. He looked Ok from the ground, but he just didn't have the "quickness" to my aids I wanted. He was quiet and obedient, so in hindsight, I probably didn't push quite as hard to get the activity I needed. They have it arranged so that you have 4 minutes of final warm-up in a ring across the street from the competition ring. When we moved over, Dylan came to life a bit, but as he was not quite in front of my aids, he was spooking a bit. So, time to direct the energy!!

Once I had things put together, it was time to go into the competition ring. It is a very nice ring, and for a large ring, it feels very close. Unfortunately the liveliness we had just generated in the warm-up faded a bit, and I just didn't quite have Dylan on my aids. That being said, he was quiet, calm, listened, and we put in an Ok test. I made some mistakes, and there were some decent moments.

The score reflected the mistakes, and I felt it was fair.

Tomorrow, our team riders take the stage. I have a "day off" of sorts. I will train during the lunch break, when Jenny can take a break from commentating. Our plan is to make it like a show situation for Dylan, warm up and ride through the test, ensuring we have what we need in the ring.

I will compete "for real" on Wednesday afternoon!

Not sure when I will get to posting again....so until then, ride strong, and go USA!!